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Tips for communicating with your ex as you split up

On Behalf of | May 24, 2023 | Divorce

The dissolution of your marriage is meant to be a joint process. You and your spouse are meant to work together to end the relationship. If this is not to be, you’ll need to navigate a contested divorce that must be litigated.

If it’s going to be a joint process, then the two of you need to know how to communicate and compromise to find results. This can be difficult as a relationship ends. Here are some tips that may help.

Pick the right mode

For some people, it can be helpful to choose a mode of communication that works well for them. Maybe talking on the phone is more difficult than texting. Maybe you prefer email or talking in person. There’s no right or wrong answer, but choosing a mode of communication thoughtfully can make exchanges less tension-filled and more effective.

Don’t communicate if you feel emotional

If you’re feeling angry, frustrated or even sad, it may be a good idea not to talk about the dissolution at that time. Don’t try to agree on terms when you are thinking emotionally instead of rationally. Take the time that you need and then come back to these conversations at a later date.

Commit to communicating directly

Avoid posting things on social media. Don’t communicate in a passive-aggressive nature – such as writing a public post about how you wish your spouse would cooperate with you. Instead, always communicate directly with them, so that nothing is overlooked and there’s no miscommunication.

Always remember the goal

Finally, just remember what your goal is: To dissolve your marriage efficiently and easily. You’re not trying to “win.” You’re not trying to “punish” your spouse. You’re not trying to show that you were in the right or anything of this nature. The goal is simply to get through this process without major sources of conflict. Focusing on the goal will help you to ignore trivial things and less-than-consequential frustrations.

Getting started

Do you believe that it’s time for you to dissolve your marriage? If you’d like to start the process, seek legal guidance proactively, as divorce-related knowledge is power.